I still want to drown, whenever you leave.

Written by

The xx – Shelter

If he had stayed, he’d have cried. He could feel the tears welling, his breath short, and watched her watch him carefully. He knew if he dared exhale he would surrender every word he had ever said, would ever say, all in one moment. And he caught it just in time. And he pulled himself to his feet, and let go of her hand, and left her in bed, wondering. And he turned the corner after the door and stopped, staring at his feet. At his stupid black leather shoes. And his shoulders shifted with the pressing weight that only goodbye carries. The elevator chimed to announce its arrival. The door closed behind him. His sides stretched, pushed out by his insides clawing for air. His heart beating in irregular steps to compensate for his shriveled lungs, starved of nicotine. His intestines squirming with afterthoughts. His stomach churning. And his hand moved quickly to the thread necklace, with its wooden penchant, and its engraved flower blooming under the sun. He ran his thumb over the grooves in the polished wood, pulling it down so as to press against the back of his neck.

[Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you XX.]

El Perro Del Mar – Shelter (orig. The xx)

12 Responses to “I still want to drown, whenever you leave.”

  1. Milad says:

    Where would I start if I wanted to look into The XX? Any other good tracks?

  2. Joan says:

    On the aforementioned album, I have a soft spot for Heart Skipped A Beat, Islands, and Infinity. It’s the little details throughout the songs that are quickly devoured.

  3. Adam says:

    I’ve started to get into these guys of late. Connie introduced me to them, I think. My favourite is ‘Heart Skipped a Beat’, probably. Haven’t listened to the album enough to make a clear decision, though. They’re a sexxy band, anyway.

  4. J.R. says:

    Upon the song, story, and comments, I downloaded Heart Skipped a Beat. I already really like this song and band.

    It is always the hardest to say goodbye to a cherished partner after spending a lengthy time with them. Having been both the one departing and the one staying after the other departs, I don’t know which one is harder. Departing gives you a means to occupy your mind, but you are still heading into an abyss. Staying while the significant other leaves gives you comfort you are in the right place, but there is still the hurt of he/she leaving. Which one do you think is worse/harder to deal with?

  5. Joan says:

    Leaving isn’t leaving if you’re running away from a bad thing. Leaving’s only leaving when you’re walking away from a good thing. And leaving is harder.

  6. Sanil says:

    I absolutely adore the album.

    When I first listened to it, I found it hard to believe that it was their debut album. Composed, polished, whole.

    My favourite song on the album changes frequently. But right now it is Basic Space.

  7. Risto says:

    Boring song. It feels as if there was really no reason to make this song, but still the singer decided to make it. I dunno, that’s just me of course.

  8. Jess says:

    Ok. But. Clearly there is reason behind the lyrics and music, yes? You do not feel the feelings created when listening to the xx album? Perhaps you have not heard the album. It’s the sensuality. I feel you need to get into the feel of it. Perhaps this just isn’t your music? In that case, perhaps another music would be a good music to listen to… this song has clear meaning, though individual interpretation is of course intrinsic. Your interpretation is based on the reflection of what is already in your head, so apologies if I may be so blunt as to say “If you’re bored then you’re boring”. But yes, as has already been mentioned it is the bare minimal that means so much. You must draw from it. It is not boring. Perhaps at times it sounds almost polyphonic? Boring? They aren’t using all of their instruments at once!! Mozart was polyphonic and he has done ever so well 😀 I apologise for abruptness, but I feel it is a mighty good song, one of my favourites. As well as Islands and Infinity

    Also i am aware it is not polyphonic but that was the only way I could see it as boring, so I drew from it. Please do elaborate as to why you find it boring though. 😀

  9. Connie says:

    I agree with Jess! Part of the attraction of the xx for me was that they could convey such emotion and meaning with minimal instrumentation. They don’t need skillful guitar solos or original riffs to get their point across, just simple picking and the tone of their voices.

    I love the beginning of ‘Basic Space’ which was the first song I fell in love with by the xx. Hard to pick a favourite cause I just rotate through their album and become obsessed with each one.

  10. Joan says:

    I can’t leave Infinity alone. I’m afraid she’ll slip out the front door when I go to the bathroom to make out with Isaak’s Wicked Game at the hostel down the road.

  11. Jess says:

    You slag!

  12. Oskar says:

    Gave the whole album a listen last night and I digged it. The simplicity of the tunes and the emotion in it is what makes it beautiful, to pretty much echo what Connie pointed out already. The songs left me with a sense of calmness and ease. Shelter and Islands are my two favourites at the moment.

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