A hand tied to the bed and the other to a brick

Written by

Ancient Kids – Crystal Family

Before I left Seattle, I got blitzed drunk and antagonized my roommate, stealing his phone and turning off his computer as he typed an email. Here’s a list of some of the shittiest things I’ve seen people do to housemates.

1. Turn off computer while roommate typed email
2. Insult the gap between teeth
3. Wear only a towel while humping to awaken
4. Strap down with rope in bed
5. Put toothpaste in asshole
6. Dip sweaty ball sack into agape mouth
7. Move dresser and closet out of room
8. Pee in the water bottle
9. In retaliation to said water-bottle peeing, masturbate and splooge on face while asleep
10. Steal boyfriend and then marry him
11. Snore

[Download Odd City, free, on January 14.]

2 Responses to “A hand tied to the bed and the other to a brick”

  1. The Best says:

    I want to know who moved a closet out of a room.

  2. Joan says:

    12. Fill up bedroom and bathroom – including toilet bowl – with balloons.
    13. Use post-it notes to cover inside and outside of car.
    14. Feed them a burger found on the sidewalk.

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