Stay with him if you can, but be prepared to bleed

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James Blake – A Case Of You (Joni Mitchell cover)

Here’s what freaks me about about modernity: How I perceive the events of my life has been affected by how narrative arcs are formed in movies. My grandfather looks at his own story differently than I do my own because of the influence of media. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to look out of his eyes. But I can’t. All I’ve got are my own. And, though I may envy the more “pure” experience he’s had, I can do things he can’t.

I can pause.

Movies have show us that time, or at least our perception of time, is malleable. We can make ourselves busy enough to help it speed by. We can skip months with just the visual cues of a weather change or a growing belly. And we can slow down the good moments.

Saturday was my first day of unemployment. James’ call woke me up into a hangover, and we congregated at a buddy’s place on the beach.

After the first round of Korean BBQ and enough cheap whiskey to numb my headache, I reclined in the beach chair, and I paused. The wind bent the trees around us, ruffled the bushes, combed through my thinning hair. I couldn’t smell any salt. Jelivia cut mushrooms with a pair of scissors. Bob fed one to his ladyfriend with chopsticks, her tongue sticking out comically and decidedly unromantically to receive it. Ming squatted in his sandals to fan the charcoal with a Styrofoam plate. I looked up into the cloudless sky and the buildings jutting up into it.

The moment passed, eventually; time always wins out. But that memory, yeah I guess it’s pure enough for me, for this generation. [Blue / ST]

One Response to “Stay with him if you can, but be prepared to bleed”

  1. Joni was blogged about here! Really interesting post and comparison:

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