Puny humans!

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Dragonball Z – Main Title (Rock The Dragon)

Reasons why you wouldn’t want to be a Saiyan in the real world:

  1. Your personal health insurance rates would be ridiculously high.
  2. Goku, on average, eats the equivalent of a week’s worth of food every meal. Given the cost of groceries, his weekly bills would be ridiculously inflated. You could make the argument for him buying some items in bulk but it would still be a helluva financial burden to take.
  3. You would be on call for every natural disaster, political conflict and societal meltdown – all across the world. When would you sleep? Saiyans need sleep.
  4. The real world doesn’t have senzu beans or healing chambers. Saiyans, as part of their physiology, become stronger each time they heal following a conflict but man, that’s a lot of time in hospital beds. How do you even operate on a ki-blast injury?
  5. You would end up with a lot of bugs in your mouth flying at high speeds.
  6. You think you’re already self-conscious during sex? Imagine if you were a Saiyan, with nearly limitless potential strength and speed. Get carried away once and you could kill your spouse. Sometimes it’s hard not to get carried away.
  7. Across the planet, people would be afraid of you. Even if you were constantly performing good deeds. Humans would be worried that one day you would realise how unrivaled you are in terms of strength and speed and use that to your malevolent advantage.

Reasons why you would want to be a Saiyan in the real world:

  1. You could turn into a fucking Super Saiyan, dude.

[Main Title (Rock The Dragon).]

One Response to “Puny humans!”

  1. Ron says:

    I wouldn’t care about number 3, who said I had to help when there was a natural disaster? Saiyan’s aren’t heroes they’re barbarians so I take what I want, do what I want and fuck what I want, that is the way of the Saiyan. Goku isn’t the example of a true Saiyan because he has been influenced by earthly ways, let people be afraid of me, duh. That’s what I want. If I were a Saiyan we’d conquer and plunder planets, you aren’t thinking like a Saiyan, you’re thinking like a Z Warrior – there’s a difference.

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