fixtapes, number one
love (love love!)

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“I’m sorry that I fell so far and I hope that you still love me,” he mumbled. “Let’s just smoke cigarettes and pretend we’re not upset.” Burning embers lit the dried butts in the ashtray, flickered, went out. He recalled the days they wasted on love (love love!), how they faded from the winter onwards. Hoping their affections would maybe sprout wings, passing afternoons hiding in the forests, imagining that the songbirds’ calls were their own. Nerves normal, breath normal, speaking of love and life and other things they knew nothing about. Laughing as they yelled jumbled phrases they thought were funny: “I THINK ABOUT TAKING CARE OF YOU SOMETIMES!” “NOW THAT I’M OLDER, I FEEL DIFFERENT ABOUT THINGS!” “QUETZALCOATL EATS PLUMS!” She loved The Mountain Goats. He recalled the first time he saw the ocean. Her father offered to drive them to it, took a day off work to indulge in the frivolities of childish romance. Gazing outwards, he offered an aphorism: “This is where God does his laundry,” as the whitewash cuddled the sand.

She stood from her seat cross-legged on the ocher patio, ignoring the brunt of his recollections. She muttered, disdainfully, about how he was obsessed with Lost Memories and Things Being Their Thing and how tiring that was – a mental drain – for her. Turning, she offered her parting words – “it’s over” – and left.

I’m Sorry That I Fell So Far & I Hope That You Still Love Mecontron.
Let’s Just Smoke Cigarettes & Pretend We’re Not Upsetcontron.
Burning EmbersLou Reed.
The DaysFrench Club.
Love Love LoveOf Monsters & Men.
Faded From The Winter OnwardsIron & Wine.
Maybe Sprout WingsThe Mountain Goats.
Passing AfternoonsIron & Wine.
Nerves Normal, Breath NormalWintersleep.
Now That I’m OlderSufjan Stevens.
Quetzalcoatl Eats PlumsThe Mountain Goats.
Where God Does His LaundrySpanish Prisoners.
Lost MemoryLexie Roth.
Our ThingElliott Smith.
It’s OverTom Waits.

Download fixtapes, number one. (DropBox).

3 Responses to “fixtapes, number one
love (love love!)”

  1. Robert says:

    I once did something like this in uni, but in the form of a Facebook message to a girl I was attempting to chase/fuck/learn Spanish from. It was substantially creepier than this, though. Substantially creepier.

    I was unsuccessful in my mission.

  2. Léa says:

    Good good good good good good good

  3. Joan says:

    Not going to lie, Rob – I absolutely want to read that message.

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